Okay now that seemingly everyone else on the Internet has gotten it out of their systems, I’ll talk about it: Amazon’s eBook Reader – the Kindle. Appearing on the cover of this week’s Newsweek, the Kindle appears to look kind of like a cross between an Etch-a-Sketch and a really big Blackberry (something about those side compartments – if those are side compartments – also reminds me of the Nintendo Wii). Word is the device will be $399, have a 6-inch E-ink screen, function with EV-DO networks for book downloading and have a battery that lasts 30 hours (and recharges in only 2).

Of course none of that matters unless you have content – and word is that books will go for $9.99 for the device, while there will be subscription fees for things like newspapers and select blogs. Let me repeat: subscription fees. I’m 100% with Mathew Ingram here when he says:

Pay a monthly subscription fee to read a blog? Either Levy and/or Bezos have been smoking something, or they have found some magical way to get people to pay for something that has historically been free.

Why the hell would I pay a subscription fee to read something that I can just as easily read on my iPhone (or Blackberry or any other web-enabled cellphone) for free? It’s already a questionable decision to carry around a device that only does something that seemingly my iPhone could do with a simple tweak or piece of software (display eBooks), so why would I carry it around if it’s going to cost me?

I also agree with Rex Hammock in questioning why on Earth this thing costs $399? I mean I’m sure there’s some reason (maybe E-ink is really expensive…), but this strikes me as a device that should costs a lot less if they want it to catch on at all – as in about half as much. Hmm which would I rather have a device that basically shows book pages in black and white or an iPhone?

If Amazon doesn’t charge any subscription fees to connect and download books over their network that is nice, but then why on Earth charge fees for blogs and newspapers? These two things seem a bit at odds with one another. And also, how often are you going to need to be downloading (and still paying $9.99 for by the way) books? I’d rather do that at home for free and have the device cost $100 less.

I’m sure they’ve done exhaustive studies on the device and concluded that its size was the smallest it could possibly be and still produce an enjoyable reading experience (the iPhone screen would seem a bit small), but come on, is anyone going to want to carry this thing around? It’s not just like a paperback you toss into your bag, this thing has a screen, I’m sure it can break. How about a day at the beach? A paperback is $10 if you get it wet. This thing is $400. Not since Moses carried around the original Ten Commandments on slabs of rock has anyone been asked to carry around something so inconvenient for the simple task of reading.

Another big question mark here is if Apple will soon come out with a tablet computer as has been gaining steam in the rumor mill over the past year. If they can get anywhere near this price, this Kindle is a goner – because you know the Apple device would do more than just read books – it’d be an actual computer.

Maybe it is a bit premature to call this thing a non-starter, but wake me up when roll-up digital paper comes into play. That’s when eBooks are really going to take off.