Somehow, in the early 1990s Apple bred a mobile technology killer robot. Cyborg.
No, wait… android. Andy Rubin.
We’re through the looking glass here, people. It was staring us right in the face the whole time. All the pieces are starting to fall into place.
OK, so Apple makes this Andyroid and, through the mismanagement endemic to the company at the time, it’s released into the wild. Years later, the Andyroid is caught by Microsoft, which reprogrammed and re-released it into the wild—but deliberately. It then gets hired by Google and acts as a Manchurian candidate within the company to funnel millions of dollars to Microsoft for doing jack squat.
Ingenious. The Macalope tips his antlers toward Redmond.
Well, OK, maybe that’s not what happened. But it pretty much worked out that way anyway.