"Envy Spectre XT Ultrabook"

I don’t mean to be a dick, but whoever came up with this name should be fired.

Sorry, the committee that clearly came up with this name should be fired.

Actually, spare the innocents. Whoever approved this name for marketing purposes should be fired. Does someone at HP really think that consumers are going to see this name and think: WANT?

Simple rule: stick to one name. No “XT” add-on bullshit. No “Spectre” add-on that makes it seem like you’re trying way too hard. Is this a laptop for James Bond villains? I’m confused.

Just sell the “Envy”. Or whatever. One name. One brand.

Choice is great except when it’s the exact opposite of great. Yes, there are other Envy laptops that HP wants to distinguish this particular model from, but that’s nonsense. Do it by price. “Good” “Better” “Best” — the Apple way works for a reason.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES “XT” MEAN? “Sleekbook” sounds disgusting. “Ultrabook” sounds lame.

This is all one gigantic pile of branding fail. This is 2012. Computers are ubiquitous in society. You’re not allowed to sell something called the “HP Envy Spectre XT Ultrabook”.

I’m sorry, you’re just not.