#jackassery

Ed Bott:

If this were a political race, a 50 percent overall approval rating would be a solid base from which to start.

Okay.

Sure, you can use some convoluted guesstimations based on Amazon rating gobbledygook to deduce that people “like” Windows 8 somewhere in between Windows 7 and Windows Vista. Or you could just look at sales. And not just bullshit “sales” to OEM partners. Actual sales.

I still like my “shitshow” prediction from last year. This is all playing out exactly as I imagined it would. And I believe that will continue, even after Windows “Blue”.

The problem is twofold. 1) Windows 8 is mainly a turd — further turdified by shitty products like the Surface. 2) The PC industry as a whole is dying and Microsoft has no competent horse in the next-gen game.  

So let’s revisit this Windows 8 satisfactory nonsense towards the end of the year when we can see some sales data — at least as a shadow of Microsoft’s financial performance, shall we?

James Temple of the San Francisco Chronicle tries to make the point that we shouldn’t bash the government for hampering innovation when it’s often the only entity that lead to true innovation — or something. It’s all sort of muddled. But what’s really odd is that in his attempt to get to his point, Temple throws Max Levchin under the bus.

This is weirdly misguided since Temple clearly doesn’t fully understand what Levchin’s new company, Affirm, is trying to do. If Levchin is successful in making payments a true one-click experience on mobile devices, I think that would be pretty damn innovative and have massive “game-changing” ramifications across many fields — potentially anyone trying to make money online in our increasingly mobile society.

Just because something seems simple doesn’t mean it can’t have a huge impact. But hey, it’s not putting words down on dead trees to sell increasingly decaying advertising space.

bryan

bryan:

Classic DF takedown of what appears to be some awfully misleading journalism:

There are signs that Apple’s grip on tablets has been weakened among consumers, who are buying more devices made by Samsung and Amazon. Now the trend is trickling into the business market.

Stop reading there and what is the reader to think, other than “more bad news for Apple”? Two paragraphs later, we get the actual numbers:

Out of all of the tablets that installed Good’s management software during 2012, Android’s share grew from 2.7% in the first quarter to 6.8% by the fourth quarter, with the iPad grabbing nearly the entire rest of the market.

Overall, Apple’s iPad and iPhone devices made up 77% of new devices using Good Technology software last year, up from 71% in 2011, with Android-powered devices making up much of the rest.

The headline for Efrati’s story? “Report: Android Tablets Gain on iPads in Business Market”.

Never let the facts ruin a good headline.

Anonymous asked:

You give Apple to much credit. Apple TV will never be able to kill consoles, because it won't be powerful enough to play Call of Duty. These CoD kids are the ones driving the market. Gamers want Skyrim and Assassins Creed, epic "real games" and nothing being made for Apple TV can replace those. I'm sure you love Angry Birds but the kids don't want that crapp

A couple things here:

1) I have no doubt that those hardcore games will remain a big deal and a good business. But I think more casual games, with the right hardware mixed in, could eventually be a bigger business.

2) You look at the Apple TV right now and you see a piece of hardware that can’t match the Xbox. But how far away is it really? I can now play the same Grand Theft Auto III that I used to play on my Xbox on my iPad/iPhone. The Apple TV runs on the same stack (even if you can’t see it yet). And, like those devices, the hardware is on a yearly refresh cycle — not the 5-to-10 year refresh cycle of gaming consoles (which is ridiculous and not tenable going forward).

So let’s revisit this comment in a couple years, shall we?

In my testing, the $999 128 GB model had 89.7 GB of free space after a clean install, up significantly from the 83 GB that was incorrectly confirmed by last week’s statement.

Ed Bott, on his Apple malware blog where he occasionally discusses Microsoft products.

6.7 extra gigabytes after a consumer-friendly clean install! Run, don’t walk to those Microsoft Stores you can’t find, people.

Well, you’ve got to remember, 100 million sounds like a pretty small number to me, actually. We’ve got a lot more Office users. And actually if you even want to go to the cloud, we have a lot of Hotmail and SkyDrive users. I’m not beating on Dropbox. They’re a fine little startup and that’s great.

Steve Ballmer, speaking with Businessweek’s Ashlee Vance on the topic of Dropbox.

I often predict that a comment will come back to bite someone from Microsoft in the ass. But I can say with near certainty that this one will. I mean, what a monumentally stupid thing to say.

What’s the upside here? Goliath beating its chest? Does he think startups will cower at that? Why would they? It’s clear from this statement that Microsoft is either:

> a) arrogant and thus, ripe for disruption

> b) scared shitless of disruption

It’s not clear which is actually worse.

Google should be prepared for everything but the kitchen sink thrown at them. Actually, they should be prepared for the kitchen sink to be thrown at them, too.

A former colleague of Mark Penn speaking to Nick Wingfield and Claire Cain Miller of The New York Times. Microsoft has hired Penn to help with advertising and political campaigns against their rivals, mainly Google.

You may know Penn from his political background (he worked on the 1996 Bill Clinton re-election campaign and was chief strategist for Hillary Clinton’s unsuccessful run for President). You may also know him as the former CEO of Burson-Marsteller, perhaps the sleaziest of the sleazy PR firms. Remember this scummy situation? Yeah, that was all them.

Great to see Microsoft clearly trying to lean further into slime-bucket political games rather than winning by creating great products that consumers love.

tomatopace-deactivated20130423 asked:

the surface is a turd?? please preface that with a 'in my opinion'. plenty of real people are buying real 'surfaces' and are really happy with it. i notice you have never called apple maps a 'turd'. surely by your own definition, it is. but hey, you're not a fanboy....

How’s this: In my opinion, I can do what I want on my own site.

TURD. TURD. TURD. TURD. TURD.

Anton D. Nagy of PocketNow:

After the CEO said he expected Windows Phone 8 volumes to “ramp up quickly” Steve Ballmer told Le Parisien that Surface sales have been off to a “modest” start, without further specifics.

To which Microsoft quickly responds with the following statement:

When asked about Surface, Steve’s use of the term “modest” was in relation to the company’s approach in ramping up supply and distribution of Surface with Windows RT, which has only been available via our online store and certain Microsoft retail stores in the U.S. While our approach has been modest, Steve notes the reception to the device has been “fantastic” which is why he also stated that “soon, it will be available in more countries and in more stores.

Okay, but if the approach has been “modest” doesn’t that also mean sales have indeed been “modest” as a result? And what the hell does a “fantastic” reception mean? Was there a lot of clapping somewhere?

This is great spin as I’m not sure what the fuck we’re even talking about anymore.

Sam Grobart for Bloomberg Businessweek:

In that so-terrible-it’s-great James Bond film A View to a Kill, the diabolical Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) intends to destroy Silicon Valley by means of a man-made earthquake, giving him a monopoly on semiconductor production. If Silicon Valley resembled anything like what was being shown in the first episode of Bravo’s new reality series Start-Ups: Silicon Valley, I would gladly have been Mr. Zorin’s henchman. When I’m on my deathbed, I won’t be accepting of my demise. I’ll be angry because I’ll know there are 44 minutes owed to me from 2012, minutes lost to this sham of a show.

Sounds fucking awful. I suspect my reaction would be largely the same to Grobart’s if I watched the show — which I won’t.