jackassery

Showing 85 posts tagged jackassery

"Modest"-Gate

Anton D. Nagy of PocketNow:

After the CEO said he expected Windows Phone 8 volumes to “ramp up quickly” Steve Ballmer told Le Parisien that Surface sales have been off to a “modest” start, without further specifics.

To which Microsoft quickly responds with the following statement:

When asked about Surface, Steve’s use of the term “modest” was in relation to the company’s approach in ramping up supply and distribution of Surface with Windows RT, which has only been available via our online store and certain Microsoft retail stores in the U.S. While our approach has been modest, Steve notes the reception to the device has been “fantastic” which is why he also stated that “soon, it will be available in more countries and in more stores.

Okay, but if the approach has been “modest” doesn’t that also mean sales have indeed been “modest” as a result? And what the hell does a “fantastic” reception mean? Was there a lot of clapping somewhere?

This is great spin as I’m not sure what the fuck we’re even talking about anymore.

Let Zorin Finish The Job

Sam Grobart for Bloomberg Businessweek:

In that so-terrible-it’s-great James Bond film A View to a Kill, the diabolical Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) intends to destroy Silicon Valley by means of a man-made earthquake, giving him a monopoly on semiconductor production. If Silicon Valley resembled anything like what was being shown in the first episode of Bravo’s new reality series Start-Ups: Silicon Valley, I would gladly have been Mr. Zorin’s henchman. When I’m on my deathbed, I won’t be accepting of my demise. I’ll be angry because I’ll know there are 44 minutes owed to me from 2012, minutes lost to this sham of a show.

Sounds fucking awful. I suspect my reaction would be largely the same to Grobart’s if I watched the show — which I won’t.

Nothing To Worry About Windows Folks, Nothing At All, I'm Sure

Apple malware blogger Ed Bott took some time off from his important beat today to comment on my previous post about the major Windows 8 service pack released prior to Windows 8 itself even being released. Bott:

Yes, heaven forbid that a major computing company should release an operating system and then release major updates in response to user feedback and telemetry from hardware partners.

Wait. What’s that, you say?

Why, yes, the golden master of OS X Mountain Lion, version 10.8 was released on July 9, and Apple released a major update, 10.8.1, on August 23, only 45 days later, to address a long list of issues.

What Bott fails to mention is that OS X Mountain Lion was actually released — as in to the public — as in shipped — on July 25. In other words, a month after its release, Apple patched some issues. And yes, this is normal for all software makers, obviously. What Apple did not do is patch the “finished” software prior to its release, which is what Microsoft is doing here.

Look, it’s great that Microsoft is trying to fix things before launch. As I said, I just don’t see it as a great sign that Microsoft felt the need to push major fixes after they declared RTM and before they actually shipped the software. That combined with the fact that a not insignificant amount of people testing these builds of Windows 8 are suggesting that it’s half-baked strikes me as problematic.

Maybe I’m wrong and everything will be just fine. Or maybe Windows 8 will sweep the nation just as strongly as the Apple malware epidemic clearly is.

I Guess Google Truly Is Letting Motorola Run Autonomously...

Casey Johnson:

Motorola Atrix 4G owners will not get the Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich update the company promised them, according to a newly revised upgrade chart. The phones will continue to run Android 2.3 Gingerbread, dealing another blow to the integrity of Google’s upgrade program.

This would be pathetic if Google didn’t own this company. But they do. So it’s dually jackassified.

TV Chicken Will Egg Be Apple's Pipe Undoing Browser Maps Justice Fixed

I’m going to break my rule of not linking to The Wall Street Journal (actually, I won’t — I’ll link to Techmeme linking to it, which will get around the paywall anyway) to link to this gem of an article.

And by “gem”, I mean “total shitshow”.

After a few paragraphs about the Maps situation which are then cast aside as irrelevant (only to be brought up later on), we get a few paragraphs that simply make no sense. The words are English, but they lack the fabric of reason to tie them together.

In summary:

Apple’s television goals will may fail because content owners mostly want one fully open system. Like now but not. Or else DISH network with skipping ads. And Apple will change to access. But won’t. While becoming Microsoft two years ago. Maps, closed. Enemies, ads, e-commerce. Netscape with. The Justice Department and HTML5, which Apple is using to subvert Apple. Pipes!

It goes on with more such gobbledygook, believe it or not. I can’t recall ever reading such a relatively short piece that was such a mess in terms of being all over the place. And this was in the paper yesterday.

Hope you took drugs before you read it.

Define "Exclusive"

And while we’re calling people out…

While Nilay Patel did qualify his Verge headline with the wussy “could”, he also wrote the following:

Multiple sources have confirmed to The Verge that Amazon is working on a smartphone that runs a variant of the Kindle Fire’s Android-based operating system, and we’re now hearing that the device will be shown to the press tomorrow.

The correct reporting would have been: “and we’re now hearing that the device will *not* be shown to the press tomorrow”. 

So essentially all Patel reported was what Bloomberg reported months ago. But “exclusively”, mind you. 

Google’s Motorola Files New Case Against Apple. Not Clear If It's Filed Under "Hypocrisy".

Google never uses their patents for offensive purposes. Except when they do.

This is the problem with these self-righteous stands. Time ends all promises, eventually. And the result is extreme hypocrisy even though you’re just doing what your rivals are doing.

Google is already trying to spin this as a defensive maneuver, but come on: it’s a new patent-infringement claim which Apple will have to defend against or risk an import ban of their devices. 

Yours truly, predicting this six months ago:

They also may find themselves suing Apple over patents and demanding a royalty for each iPhone sold.

The problem Google is likely to face is that if they aren’t agressive with the patents in the way that Motorola has been, how can they possibly hope to license them in the way they say they will? Who would license something when they don’t have to? This is a slippery slope. 

Bigger picture: after going on and on about the dubious patent tactics by rivals like Apple and Microsoft (and rightfully so in most cases), Google may find themselves in the same position thanks to this Motorola deal.