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Howdy, I'm MG Siegler. I’m a general partner at CrunchFund and a columnist for TechCrunch. This is where I collect things.

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The iPhone Bleeds Lumia Cyan, According To Siri. Or Wolfram Alpha. Or Best Buy. Sometimes. Maybe. Actually, No.

Well, Jim Dalrymple beat me to making fun of this, but what the hell, it’s Friday.

Earlier today, a thread starting passing around the Internet pointing out something worth a chuckle: when you ask Siri what the best smartphone is, it responds with the Nokia Lumia 900. The cyan version from AT&T, to be exact.

That’s it — end of debate! Shut Apple down and pay the money back to the shareholders. The Lumia 900 is clearly killing off the iPhone. Well, except if you consider sales. And user happiness. But whatever, Siri says so!

But wait. Does Siri even say so? After a series of never-ending clicks, I believe I was able to trace this “story” back to its roots. Dalrymple linked to AppleInsider, which links to TheNextWeb (hi Robin!), which links to ZUnited, which links to WMPoweruser. (CNet tried to insert itself into the conversation too, but well, it was this guy.)

Appropriately, it was a game of telephone that led to “Which is the best cellphone ever?” evolving into “what is the best smartphone ever?” Along the way, there were several reports of different answers — for example, I get nothing when I ask about the best smartphone ever and I get “I think you’ve already answered that question, MG.” when I ask for the best cellphone ever. Cute.

But people definitely are seeing the Lumia 900 pop up, the screenshots prove it! How could Apple let such a thing fly? Because it has nothing to do with Apple. The answer comes from Wolfram Alpha, Siri’s top data partner. And the fact of the matter is that in this case, the data sucks.

Wolfram Alpha passed the Lumia 900 to Siri simply because it’s the first on this list. But if you look closely at that list, you’ll note that several phones receive the highest “5” rating — 29 of them, by my count. And that list includes three models of the iPhone (two different versions of the iPhone 4S — the 64GB white model from Verizon and Sprint, sorry, AT&T). They’re simply not the first listed.

But again, this list is shit. It’s data from Best Buy based on user ratings. The Lumia 900 in question is “#1” with a whopping 5 user reviews. Number 2 on the list is this phone — I mean, just look at it! — which has a whole one five-star user review. Number 3 on the list is the HP refurbished Touchpad. Yes, the Touchpad. Number 3 best smartphone ever.

Need I go on?

Tags tech mobile nokia lumia 900 apple iphone 4s siri bestbuy

Nokia: $1.7 Billion In The Red

Nokia, the undisputed king of mobile just a few years ago, has posted a $1.7 billion loss for the quarter. 

Some of it was restructuring costs, but a lot of it was the ever-increasing competition (meaning Apple and Samsung, basically the only two phone makers actually making money).

Nokia expects these types of losses to continue into next quarter as well.

Even more troubling is CEO Stephen Elop, the ex-Microsoft executive who has tied his company’s fate to Windows Phone, talking about the Lumia, the first true flagship phone of the partnership:

We have launched four Lumia devices ahead of schedule to encouraging awards and popular acclaim. The actual sales results have been mixed. We exceeded expectations in markets including the United States, but establishing momentum in certain markets including the UK has been more challenging.

Did you catch the nut behind the sugar-coating? “The actual sales results have been mixed.”

Tags tech mobile nokia windows phone

Lu-Meh-Uh 900

I had some high hopes for the Lumia 900 after seeing its unveiling. Probably too high.

The reviews are now coming in and reading over them, the consensus seems to be that yes, it’s the best Windows Phone phone to date — but it’s far from great. 

Too bad. A step in the right direction for Microsoft and Nokia, I suppose. But, if these reviews are accurate, this won’t be enough to overtake the way-too-late-to-the-dance problem. Though the $100 price (after subsidy) is nice.

I still plan to try the Lumia 900 myself.

Be sure to check out gdgt’s nifty review aggregation for a good overview.

Tags tech mobile lumia 900 windows phone nokia microsoft

The Nokia Lumia 900

I think Farhad Manjoo has this exactly right on Twitter:

I have yet to touch this (or the Lumia 800 for that matter), but what was shown today immediately makes every Android phone look like shit. Well, the iPhone has done that for years. Even more like shit, let’s say. 

This is how you need to make a phone in the post-iPhone world. I fully intend to try this phone out to see how it stacks up against the iPhone.

See, it’s not that hard. Make something that looks awesome with a clear attention to detail and people like me will want to try it out. Hopefully this quiets the notion that anything that’s not the iPhone will get no love simply because it’s not the iPhone. (Sadly, it won’t.)

The iPhone is a great product. To beat it, you need to be better than it. No one has done that yet — but even worse, it hasn’t looked like anyone was even trying until now.

Coincidentally, it was exactly 5 years ago today when the iPhone was first unveiled on stage during the Macworld keynote in 2007.

Tags tech nokia lumia 900 iphone windows phone

Microsoft, Nokia Flirted With Disaster — Er, RIM

No surprise here, except that it could be a joint bid. Can three companies now in different stages of failing in mobile team up to win? Do three wrongs make a right?

My favorite part though:

According to two people close to the company, RIM executives have approached other smart-phone makers, including Samsung Electronics Co. and HTC Corp. about licensing RIM’s new operating system.

That’s a joke, right? Those guys would ditch Android for something much worse with absolutely no app ecosystem? And they’d pay for the privilege? 

And people wonder why RIM is failing. If that report is true, it’s clearly being run by people who have completely lost touch with reality. Though I guess that’s been pretty evident the past couple of years…

Tags tech microsoft nokia RIM blackberry os android mobile

A Cool Billion Later, Did Microsoft Say "Fee" Or "Free"?

No real surprise here that Microsoft is (indirectly) paying Nokia upwards of $1 billion to get Windows Phone on their devices, but this is humorous:

Nokia will pay Microsoft a fee for each copy of Windows used in its phones

It’s so ridiculous that Microsoft is sticking with this licensing system. You can license Android, the market leader now, for free. Microsoft? There’s a fee. For each phone. Who in their right mind would do that?

Wait — let me rephrase. Who in their right mind not getting $1 billion in free advertising/development costs and not run by a recently departed Microsoft executive would do that?

Unless this Nokia gamble pays off — and in a big way — the answer will be no one. 

Microsoft just doesn’t know another way beyond the Windows/Office licensing way. And that’s just not the right way in mobile. Didn’t they learn anything from Windows Mobile?

Tags tech microsoft nokia windows phone