#razors

Adam Clark Estes took Gillette’s new razor for a test drive:

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a nice razor. The bulkily-named Fusion ProGlide with FlexBall Technology razor is also Gillette’s most expensive at $11.50 for the manual version and $12.50 for the battery-powered version. Of course, only the handle is new. The razor takes the regular old Fusion cartridges with five blades on the front and one on the back that have been on the market since 2006. At a launch event in New York City on Tuesday morning, Gillette called FlexBall technology “the biggest advance in the category since the introduction of five blades.” Gillette’s last big innovation, by the way, was the introduction of five blades.

Real-life proof of why The Onion is so great. It’s not just satire that reads as if it could be true, it’s satire that reads becomes true. And now the truth becomes more ridiculous than the satire.

An old classic.

Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades.
What part of this don’t you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking razor that ever existed. Comprende?

As is the case with the best parody, it ended up being very true. A year later: 5-blade razors.