#the onion

Adam Clark Estes took Gillette’s new razor for a test drive:

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a nice razor. The bulkily-named Fusion ProGlide with FlexBall Technology razor is also Gillette’s most expensive at $11.50 for the manual version and $12.50 for the battery-powered version. Of course, only the handle is new. The razor takes the regular old Fusion cartridges with five blades on the front and one on the back that have been on the market since 2006. At a launch event in New York City on Tuesday morning, Gillette called FlexBall technology “the biggest advance in the category since the introduction of five blades.” Gillette’s last big innovation, by the way, was the introduction of five blades.

Real-life proof of why The Onion is so great. It’s not just satire that reads as if it could be true, it’s satire that reads becomes true. And now the truth becomes more ridiculous than the satire.

theonion
theonion:

Netflix Instant Thinking About Adding Good Movie

"Ted Sandaros":

“We feel the addition of a popular, above-average, well-made film would provide a nice counterbalance to our existing library of poorly received sequels, totally unknown indie dramas from four or five years ago that you’ve never heard of, and horrendous direct-to-DVD horror features.” At press time, Netflix had reportedly abandoned the plan and added Something’s Gotta Give to its streaming library.

Perfect.

theonion:

Netflix Instant Thinking About Adding Good Movie

"Ted Sandaros":

“We feel the addition of a popular, above-average, well-made film would provide a nice counterbalance to our existing library of poorly received sequels, totally unknown indie dramas from four or five years ago that you’ve never heard of, and horrendous direct-to-DVD horror features.” At press time, Netflix had reportedly abandoned the plan and added Something’s Gotta Give to its streaming library.

Perfect.